


every piece of you

by interstellarbeams



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: (no smut sorry), 5+1, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fist Fights, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kisses, Mentioned John B. Routledge, Mentioned Sarah Cameron, Misunderstandings, Post-Canon, Surfing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25616875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interstellarbeams/pseuds/interstellarbeams
Summary: Five places that Kie hadn’t expected to be intimate when kissed and one place she does.
Relationships: JJ & Kiara (Outer Banks), JJ Maybank & Kiara Carrera, JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 113
Collections: Jiara July Jubilee





	every piece of you

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Lara for some of these ideas, Jordan for looking it over and the girls in the group chat for being so supportive. 💕
> 
> Finally able to post this after a race to the finish line. Can I tell you... I am tired. I have zero knowledge of surfing so if you’re a surfer and you read this, I’m sorry. 🙈😂
> 
> Title is from _Rolling in the Deep_ by Adele (the song has nothing to do with the fic, I just like how it sounded as a title.)
> 
> Sorry, I know this is rated M but that’s just to be on the safe side. There’s no smut here. 🙈
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated! 💕

_There's a fire starting in my heart  
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bringing me out the dark_

_Rolling in the Deep_ — Adele

(1)  
**ear**

Kiara had never considered certain parts of the body to be intimate or even sexy. Her limbs were too gangly, the backs of her knees curved strangely and the skin of her armpits weren’t smooth like the girls that hung out on white yachts around the bay with their bikini bodies perfectly suntanned.

Guys were weird creatures though — with foot fetishes and attractions to all kinds of oddities, at least in her mind. So she shouldn’t have been so concerned that her partners weren’t bothered with parts of her that she judged too harshly. 

The first boy who had kissed her had pressed his open mouth to her neck after the first peck of their lips and she had immediately shoved him off and wiped away his nasty slobber. Definitely not a fairytale moment or something arousing like she had read about in her mother’s stash of steamy romance books with sand between the pages. 

Her second kiss had been better but too much tongue had squicked her out and she had left the boy/girl party with more knowledge of the male anatomy but still concerned that the touch of someone else’s lips to hers should weird her out so much. 

The summer after her freshman year, she joined the Pogues, and she spent more time with teenage boys than she ever had before. They had some gross habits and weird things like dead jellyfish held them entranced. They drank like fishes and peed off the back of the boat when they thought she wasn’t looking but their loyalty was unmatched.

After a few months, she slowly grew to realize that they all had crushes on her. They jockeyed for the spot in the Twinkie that was next to her and brought her drinks when they sat around the Chateau even though she was perfectly capable of retrieving her own. She was pretty sure they all ogled her when she took off her clothes to jump into the ocean but they were also sweet, funny and all around good guys despite their willingness to get into fights whenever possible. 

Pope would always bring up the latest news on climate change to discuss with her, always willing to listen and even offer his own opinions on certain issues, John B found her the prettiest seashells and brought them to her like she was a mystical mermaid forever lost on land, longing for her ocean home and JJ taught her how to surf. 

It was super hard at first. She had no prior knowledge but she was a strong swimmer and challenges never scared her, only made her want to try harder in order to succeed.

JJ was typically the most laidback of the boys but his teaching style was an entire one-eighty. He encouraged her with kindness but never pandered to her because she was a girl. He showed her moves over and over again until he should have been annoyed but he showed her again if she still didn’t get it, and when she lost her footing and fell headfirst into a wave, he was the first person there to make sure she got back on the board and lead her to a channel to float. Letting her know what she had done wrong and what she needed to help her technique. 

She eventually learned the basics and could keep up with Pope and John B who were good but not as good as JJ. He had impeccable timing, his balance on the board was almost perfect and he never let a wave scare him — the bigger the better, he would always say. 

About a year after she learned, she took on a swell that Pope balked at and successfully rode the wave. JJ’s praise and the accumulation of his encouraging words meant the world to her, so her excitement at hearing his compliments felt almost as good as her surfing success.

Unused to anything other than water rushing into her ears after she wiped out, Kie was surprised to hear the boys yelling her name, shouting out their excitement at her achievement. The warmth of acceptance and success filled her chest and she didn’t think anything could top that feeling, excited laughter bubbling up and out of her like water from a drinking fountain. That was until she paddled over to the boys, where they were bobbing behind the waves, and JJ grabbed her around the neck, almost dragging her off her board and kissed her.

Well, technically she figured he was trying to kiss the side of her head in a brotherly, affectionate gesture but his lips connected with her ear instead. The warmth, as they pressed against the shell of her ear, sent a tingle down her spine and she almost gasped, her excited smile dropping at the rush that shot through her, adrenaline spiking and hormones flowing through her like the wave she had just ridden. It was amazing. 

_How had no other lips ever given her that feeling?_ She was overwhelmed and suddenly felt like she needed to share the surprise of the feeling with _someone._

Then JJ pulled away, patting her on the shoulders, good naturedly, a friendly smile lifting one corner of his lips. 

“And the student becomes the teacher,” he crowed, fist bumping Pope who was next to him. 

Yeah, so maybe he hadn’t felt anything but to Kie, it was a revelation. A feeling she would never forget.

————

(2)  
**fingers**

The summer after sophomore year they found the treasure of the Royal Merchant. And Kie’s dreams of having a relaxing summer, chilling with her boys and surfing the days away was dashed by vengeful drug dealers, a homicidal dad with a vendetta and a crush that she didn’t want to deal with.

Midsummers snuck up on her but her mom was on the ball. Her lavender dress of satin was steamed and hanging on her closet door the morning of the event and Kie groaned as she rolled over in bed and caught sight of it gleaming in the sunshine. It’s smooth surface taunting her with thoughts of schmoozing Kook parents and pretending to belong among a crowd of teenagers who thought she was less than the scum beneath their designer shoes. 

Kie allowed her mom to brush her hair and drag product through it, obeyed when she told her to apply shimmery lotion to her body with only a little complaining and watched as she piled her hair on top of her head. Her mom accentuated the style with a flower crown like all the other women would be wearing. It reminded Kiara of Andromeda who was a virgin princess, prepared to meet her death by sea monster in order to save an ancient kingdom. She may have been dramatic but that’s what heading to Midsummers felt like to her, a tragic Greek drama.

After an hour or so of standing around, shadowing her parents because she didn’t want to play nice with the kids from the Kook Academy, her feet were killing her. The food was delicious, because of course this was a high society party and everything was of the highest quality. Paid for by men like Sarah’s dad and Topper’s parents, who may as well be divorced for as much time as they spent together, if the rumors were to be believed. 

Her parents even let her have a glass of champagne — they didn’t know that she had been drinking beer for over a year with the Pogues or they might not have been so benevolent — that fizzed as it went down and made her feel slightly giddy. 

She had been contemplating snagging another glass from one of the waiter’s that moved around the outdoor venue when she caught sight of JJ, a security guard’s hand wrapped tight around his upper arm. 

“I can walk by myself. I’ve got legs, can you see that brother?”

 _What?_ Kie thought to herself, almost opening her mouth to ask that same question but she stopped herself. The security guard kept moving, dragging JJ with him. 

They stopped next to an older gentleman but Kie couldn’t hear what they were saying, only noticed the way JJ took the glass from him and drank the alcohol down in one gulp. _Typical._ He dragged his feet, almost stumbling as he was pulled along. _Was he okay?_

 _Why were they escorting him out?_ She wondered, never mind that he was dressed like a waiter and she knew that JJ had never had a job at the golf resort. He didn’t belong but neither did she. It was just a show that her parents were making her put on, playing the perfect Kook daughter when she knew that her heart was all Pogue. 

“Where are you taking him?” She finally managed to ask, when the security guard pulled him across the parquet dance floor. The security guard was apparently used to answering to the Kooks, even the teenage ones, because he stopped what he was doing to look over at her. 

“Miss?”

Kie’s parents were at her side, her father’s hand on her elbow and her mom’s quiet “ _Kiara_ ” as she tried to hush her but she ignored them.

“You can’t just boot him. I invited him here. I’m a member of this club.” The words came tumbling out, without a thought, and she didn’t stop to think how it sounded. 

“Kiara!” Her mother’s voice grew louder, and the people standing around them gaped, mouths hanging open like the bass fish Mr. Heyward caught off the back of his sloop. They acted like Kie had just admitted to double dipping her shrimp in the communal cocktail sauce. _How dare she invite a dirty Pogue to a Kook party? Not that she actually had but they didn’t know that._

“Mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie. Let’s go.”

Kie looked to her mother who was trying to make excuses for her, but she didn’t belong here anymore than JJ did and if they were gonna kick him out, then she was going with him.

“Mom, I—“ Kie didn’t know what she was trying to say so she stepped around her mother, ignoring the sound of her father’s protests as she followed JJ.

She felt many judgemental eyes on her but she didn’t care. JJ’s interruption of the famous Kook party was so typical of him and she couldn’t help but smile as she caught sight of him.

He stretched out his arms and she didn’t even second guess her choice to throw her arms around him, letting him lift her off her feet in a twirl. His smile was brighter than she had ever seen it and she wished she could make him smile again, just like that. She laughed, not even caring who saw her run off with the Maybank boy and his Pogue friends.

They escaped into the night, their laughter echoing like the ghosts of summer’s past. Kie stumbled in her high heels in the soft sand of the beach as they cut through the dunes and headed towards the HMS Pogue that John B had tied up at the dock behind the massive clubhouse. 

Kie smiled brightly at Pope as she caught up to him, JJ dogging her steps as John B jumped into the boat, ready to shove off. Pope climbed in first offering her his hand into the boat, but the touch of JJ’s hands as he helped boost her up by the waist were what lit her up, like fireworks in a Fourth of July sky.

 _This is getting ridiculous!_ She thought, as she settled down onto the side of the boat, not even caring that the expensive silk dress was probably getting damp on the hem and smudged by dirt, and who knew what else, that peppered the bottom of the boat. _This is JJ we’re talking about. He’s just helping you. Why do you have to experience these feelings when a simple kiss on the lips feels like nothing?_

They pulled off into a small tributary, frogs croaking loudly in the underbrush on either side as they made their way towards Rixons. Kie waved a hand in front of her face, trying to brush away the mosquitos that buzzed in her ears. The night was dark, with barely a quarter moon to light their way but they had been traveling this route for so long that it felt familiar even in a blackout. 

Pope and JJ jumped out to pull the boat in, but Kiara didn’t wait for their help and hopped out on her own, thankful that the heels her mom had made her wear tonight were sensible compared to some that she had seen the Kook girls wearing. 

JJ was already pulling at the floral bow tie that he wore as he stepped to move past her, a pile of clothes in one arm. She expected him to keep on walking until the shadows of the trees swallowed him up, but he stopped in front of her and turned, causing her to stop in her tracks.

“Thanks for having my back, back there.” 

“No problem.” 

“I uh— I was leaving of my own free will but it was kind of humiliating being dragged around like that. So yeah, I’m gonna change clothes.” He bent suddenly and grabbed her fingers, pressing his lips to them quickly. They were dry and firm against her fingers but the touch sent a tingle running up her arm, straight through her veins and into her heart. 

“For now it is farewell, my lady. My knight in shining lavender.” He teased, his voice bright but she found hope in the way his fingers slightly trembled before he let go. 

“Shut up.” She waved him away but inside, her stomach was filled with butterflies, and a flush stole up her neck and into her cheeks. 

John B and Pope were building up another bonfire and she walked towards where they were but she couldn’t fight the thrill the touch of his lips had given her. Maybe Midsummers wasn’t quite so bad after all. 

————

(3)  
**elbow**

The heat inside the hangar was stifling, the warmth of the afternoon sun baking down on the metal building causing them all to sweat. Thankfully, Barry had finally limped off and Rafe had left with a murderous glare, blood dripping from his lip, but Kiara ignored their pitiful asses to focus on her friends.

Pope seemed shell shocked, like he couldn’t believe what he had just done. He was the least violent out of all of them and it had surprised Kiara as well. Even peaceable people reach their breaking point at one time or another. 

He sat on the cement floor, hands clasped over his knees as he stared into the distance, eyes unseeing. Kiara hoped he would be okay but for right now they had more pressing matters to deal with. 

JJ stood off to the side, wiping at his nose which dripped blood but otherwise he looked fine. No bruises blooming on his face or harsh breathing from a possible broken rib. But JJ was used to hiding how he really felt. He had become proficient at it, masking the effects of his father’s abusive actions for years while the Pogues were blissfully unaware.

Kie brushed her tangled hair away from her face when a sharp sting shot across the skin of her elbow and she gasped in surprise, involuntarily uttering a “ouch.”

“You’re hurt.” JJ crossed the cement floor quickly, taking her arm as he looked at the small abrasion on her elbow. 

“I’m fine. It’s just a scratch.” She tried to play it off but she didn’t begrudge the fact that JJ ignored her and continued to look at her scratch. He overlooked the numerous injuries that he had to have sustained from Barry’s flying fists of fury to pay attention to hers. 

His hands were warm but she didn’t feel like shrugging him off despite the heat inside the hangar. His touch was so gentle, at odds with the whirling dervish that he was when a fight broke out. His opposing sides were like night and day but she didn’t want him to change for anything. She liked him just the way he was.

“No. Looks like you’ve got some gravel stuck in there. Could become infected if we don’t take care of it.” JJ started pulling her toward the Phantom and she glanced back at Pope but he hadn’t moved and continued to stare at the hangar wall. 

Kie frowned at his back. JJ’s concern for her injury surprised her. He typically ignored any and all wounds, letting nature take its course with a nonchalant shrug. It was weird, that he was so concerned about hers all of a sudden. 

Kiara climbed into the boat behind JJ, who had let her go to walk on her own. He wiped his nose against his navy blue sleeve, the blood barely discernible against the dark fabric, then leaned over a compartment and twisted off the cover. He pulled out a first aid kit and motioned for her to sit in the captain’s chair. 

Kie sank down into the chair, swallowing harshly when he kneeled down in front of her and placed the first aid kit across her lap. The close quarters caused her to sweat and she tried to focus on anything but how she could smell a mix of salt water and the metallic tang of blood coming off of him, but surprisingly the scent didn’t turn her stomach. It only reminded her of the events that had just taken place and she opened her mouth to apologize when JJ swiped her scrape with an alcohol wipe.

“Shit! Ow. That stings! Why didn’t you warn me?”

“I know. Sorry. I figured you might punch me, but thankfully, you weren’t caught that unawares.”

“Keep talking and I still might.” Kiara warned, but the twinkle in his eyes told her that he wasn’t worried about her hitting him. _He was right. Smug bastard._

JJ’s touch was gentle as he leaned closer, the fringe of his bangs brushing against her forearm as he made sure her wound was free of debris.  
He smoothed antibiotic cream over the cut, deliberately from one side to the other before he unwrapped the band-aid and spread it across the wound.

“Thanks.” She spoke softly, afraid to break the moment. For once they weren’t being chased by drug dealers or helping a wrongly accused fugitive escape the cops breathing down their necks and they could take a moment to breath. She wanted to take it in because the next few hours were crucial for John B and Sarah’s escape plan to be successful.

She made to get up but JJ still crouched in front of her, so she sat back down to wait. He balled up the trash from the bandages and the wipes but shoved them back into the first aid kit. He looked up, his eyes impossibly blue for the dimness of the hangar.

She bent her arm, admiring his handiwork in an attempt to avoid looking into his eyes. _Who knew what she would do, if she didn’t escape his close proximity soon?_ Then his hand was at her elbow cradling it softly, and he kissed it. Kie didn’t know what to think. _Why was he behaving this way all of a sudden?_

“A kiss to make it better.” He mumbled before he moved away. His back to her, he stowed the first aid kit in it’s compartment then climbed down the ladder without another word.

Kie sat there for a few more minutes. The surprisingly sweet and careful way he had kissed her scratch had left her reeling. 

JJ had never known caring or sweetness that she knew about. The hug that she offered him in the hot tub was one of the first instances of comfort that he had known in a long time if the bruises along his rib cage were any indication of what his home life was like. 

His injuries had been more extensive but he had taken care of hers first, with compassion and a concern that she had rarely shown towards his many cuts and bruises over the last month or so.

Her stomach soured and she felt so ashamed. She didn’t deserve a friend like him. And to be honest, she was thinking maybe something more could develop in between them if she let it, but the effect that his touch had on her was scary. She had always wanted what all the other girls seemed to be able to find with any and every boy — connection, intimacy, attraction — but her experiences centered around one boy and it frightened her. 

So when John B took off in the Phantom and she felt a strange ache of loss behind her breastbone, she pressed her lips to Pope’s hoping to feel something other than disinterest, but his crush hadn’t made any difference in the way that she felt. His touch wasn’t enough to excite her and as she turned around and caught sight of JJ standing there she wondered if she ever would with anyone else but him.

————

(4)  
**calf**

No pogue on pogue macking, that was the rule. 

Kie couldn’t help but wonder if the kisses that JJ had given her lately were the ones that were forbidden. Many people in The Cut believed that she was the one who had made that rule — one girl, among a group of guys; kissing was bound to come up. The rule was a smart idea.

But it hadn’t been her. It was something Big John had said when Kie began hanging around the Chateau with the three boys. It had sounded like a warning coming from him, his deep voice slightly gravelly like he had smoked one too many cigarettes in his day. She had looked up the term on google but the only thing she could find was a slang term in surfing and she knew that was _not_ what Big John had been warning her against. 

She had to wonder why the rule had come about in the first place. _Who had been against macking and why wasn’t it allowed?_ It was strange but she shrugged it off like Big John’s insistence that women shouldn’t go on treasure hunts. Maybe the rule was something left over from his teenage years.

Kie loved Big John with his larger than life personality, love for pirate lore and treasure, and his kind heart. He allowed the teens to hang out around his house eating all his junk food and guzzling the sodas and the beer that he hid at the bottom of the fridge in the vegetable crisper. He thought they didn’t know about it but JJ could sniff out alcohol like a bloodhound.

The Chateau wasn’t the same now that Big John was gone and so was John B. It should have been boarded up, the doors shut with those key boxes that were on all of the real estate properties around the island. But Uncle T kept paying the bills, hoping against hope that John B would come back some day.

Kie, JJ and Pope took advantage of it. Spending more time at the abandoned house than they spent at their own dwellings. They felt like keeping the pogue life alive in the Chateau would keep John B’s memory alive. It also made them feel closer to him. 

Kie spent more time on the pullout couch than on any other piece of furniture in the house. Sleeping in John B’s bed felt weird to her. Despite the fact that JJ used to sprawl out on any of the beds whether they were occupied or not, he refused to sleep in the bedroom either which left the ratty recliner and the pullout for the three teens. 

The setting sun’s rays filtered through the blinds, shining on the floor and causing a glare to shoot across the tv where the boys were playing Xbox. It had been John B’s and it wasn’t new. He had maybe three games to choose from but Pope and JJ played those three games like their lives depended on it.

Kie figured that it took their minds off the fact that John B was gone and didn’t complain, _much_. They were constantly engrossed in their game and ignored her, barely making a move to drink or eat, leaving her with plenty of time to scroll through her Instagram and paint her nails whacky colors. With her only friends preoccupied, she didn’t have anything better to do.

She wasn’t surprised that Pope no longer acknowledged her. She had to let him down after the disaster of a kiss and he hadn’t gotten over the disappointment. He wasn’t usually the type to hold a grudge but this time the hurt was too deep.

Kie knew she shouldn’t have encouraged him but she had hoped that the spark that she felt when JJ kissed her was a fluke, but she was wrong. And now she had messed up a great friendship because she had to test out a theory. Maybe if she told Pope it was a failed experiment he would forgive her, but she knew that wouldn’t change his mind. Time would have to do the work for her, but he would get over it eventually.

“Oh, come on man! Why the hell did you do that?” JJ shoved Pope in the shoulder, hard, nearly toppling him over onto the dingy carpet.

Pope shoved back and suddenly they were practically in an all out brawl.

“Guys! Guys, stop!” Kie yelled but they ignored her, their grunts and the sounds of their heavy breathing overriding the soundtrack of the fantasy game.

“You little shit!” JJ yelled, fists pummeling Pope’s sides and hands fisting in his shirt.

“JJ! STOP!” She stomped her foot, sending pain shooting up her ankle and she winced but she didn’t have time to worry about it right now. 

“Why are you fighting? It’s just a stupid game!” She called out but they ignored her, too caught up in their anger and whatever had set them off to pay her any attention. 

It hurt her to see the two boys she loved hurting each other, and with John B gone it was up to her to stop them from injuring each other. If only she could figure out how to do that. She couldn’t physically separate them, she wasn’t strong enough and their anger made them even stronger. _Think, Kie, think!_

Finally fed up, Kie picked up the game and grabbed the scissors that she had left on the coffee table after she had used them to open a stubborn bag of popcorn, and pressed the blades against the power cord. 

“If you want to play this ever again,” She warned, voice raised over the sounds of their fight, “you better stop fighting right now!” 

“Kie! Come on!” Pope whined, dropping back on the floor and rubbing at his jaw where JJ had landed a good punch. 

JJ glared at her, his shoulders moving harshly, as he breathed, from the force of his anger. Apparently, his rage wasn’t quenched yet because he kicked the leg of the coffee table and paced to the corner of the room. If he had been a dog, his hackles would have been raised and a growl would have rumbled in his throat. 

“JJ, you need to calm down.”

She dropped the game back to the floor with a loud clatter then set the scissors down. Approaching JJ cautiously like she would if she was confronting a wild animal, she reached out and grasped him by the arm. 

_Thank god he isn’t resisting_ , she thought, as she moved toward the hallway. _Or taking out his anger on me instead._

“Put some ice on that.” She called over her shoulder to Pope, as she pulled JJ after her and pushed him into the bathroom. 

He didn’t complain, apparently used to being pushed around which she felt a little bad about, but he needed to calm down and this was the only way she could think of to cool him off. 

Shoving back the shower curtain she ordered him to get in.

She was surprised that he actually obeyed her. Usually JJ was quick to sass her and ignoring her was one of his favorite hobbies, when the mood hit him but he listened this time.

She quickly turned on the shower head, sending cold water shooting down on his head. He didn’t complain and she was starting to get worried.

_What the hell?_

Kiara couldn’t figure out what was going on in his head, but she was afraid to ask him. Knowing that if she did, the floodgates would open and all his pain at the loss of John B would pour out. She wasn’t ready to handle that, not just yet.

She shut the water off and tossed him a towel off the rack. Which he snatched out of mid air and ran over his head roughly, but the scrap of fabric wouldn’t do anything for the wet clothes that he now wore.

“Damn it! JJ, I’m sorry. Your clothes—“ She gestured to his wet tee which was clinging, rather indecently to his chest. She had to turn her eyes away, focusing on the wall beyond his shoulder instead of the distracting display.

“It’s okay. I— I’m sorry about flying off the handle like that.”

“It’s okay. It was bound to happen at some point. Even friends get into arguments. You might want to apologize to Pope though.”

JJ shrugged, tossing the towel on top of the toilet. “That’s not really what guys do.” 

Kie shot him a look, but he ignored it.

“Why don’t you go into John B’s room and snag a pair of clothes. I’ll clean this up.” 

JJ shook his head, his eyes shuttering and she felt closed off from him all of a sudden. Spraying him down with water hadn’t caused him to shut her out but mentioning John B was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She should have known not to mention him, but he couldn’t sit around all day waiting for his clothes to dry. 

“It’s okay to go in there. I’m sure, if he was here, he would be happy to let you borrow something.”

“But he isn’t here, Kiara! Haven’t you noticed?”

“Of course, I’ve noticed. What do you mean?”

“Forget it.” He moved as if he was going to leave the room but Kie wouldn’t let him, moving in front of him so that he couldn’t get out the bathroom door.

“No. I’m not going to forget it. I know you’re hurting. That you miss him. I miss him too, but we can’t keep staying here while treating his home like a museum. We already use every other room in the house, why not his clothes. He won’t mind. He loved you, like a brother.”

JJ cut his eyes, his jaw working but his shoulders loosened again.

Pressing her palms against his waist, she slowly leaned into him until he wrapped his arms around her. She sighed in relief, as she moved closer.

He didn’t cry, which she was surprised at but she took comfort from the fact that he was letting her in. It wasn’t good for him to bottle everything up, because then his anger exploded like it had in the living room.

She pulled back from the hug, the dampness of her shirt, reminding her of why she had been trying to get him to enter John B’s room in the first place.

“Now I need to change.” 

“Maybe if we go in there together.” He offered, and she knew that it would make him feel better if she came with him. He wasn’t scared of snakes, graveyards or vengeful drug dealers but walking into his dead best friend’s bedroom freaked him out. It was a conundrum but she understood where he was coming from.

It did feel weird to walk into the bedroom and not see John B, lounging on the bed with a comic book or a piece of wood cradled in his hands that he had been whittling away at while indie music blared through a Bluetooth speaker.

The room looked the same as it had the day he left, with clothes strewn across the floor and a vintage surfboard hanging on the wall above the bed. The smell Kie expected wasn’t there, the scent of his cologne was faint but it hadn’t been so long that the room was musty. 

Kie headed immediately to the dresser while JJ loitered in the doorway, one arm leaning up against the casement as he watched her move around the room.

She tried to ignore the way his gaze made her feel but it was difficult, even with the search for clean clothes to distract her, and she found herself wondering what it was about her that caught his attention. She was too afraid to ask. 

“Aha!” She pulled a pair of shorts out of a drawer and found a shirt that wasn’t too wrinkled hanging in the crowded closet and handed them to him.

JJ wrinkled his nose at the choices.

“I know, floral shirts aren’t your thing but it’s better than nothing, right?”

“I don’t know, Kiara. _Nothing_ works pretty well, sometimes.”

Kie laughed. Even for JJ that line was pretty cheesy. 

“Put it on, Romeo. While I look for something else for me.” She turned her back to dig in a lower drawer, hoping against hope that some of John B’s smaller clothes might be inside.

The sound of wet clothes hitting the floor brought her to attention. And she had to struggle at her urge to turn around and take a look. She would have to, if she hadn’t known how smug JJ would be over her trying to “sneak a peek.”

“JJ! I didn’t mean here!”

“You gotta clarify, Carrera.”

Kie scoffed. _Boys._ He knew perfectly well that she hadn’t wanted him to change standing in the doorway of their missing best friend’s bedroom while she was standing right there, but JJ being JJ, he simply didn’t care. 

“Well, you can forget about watching me change.” She announced as she pulled a pair of old gym shorts and a worn Pelican Marina t-shirt, that was definitely JJ’s, out of the bottom drawer. “I’m not that easy.”

“Ouch. That hurts, Kie.” He pressed a hand to his chest in mock offense and she rolled her eyes again.

Moving closer she grabbed the door and with extreme pleasure, slammed it in his face and locked it.

…

After she had slipped out of her damp clothes and pulled her hair up into a messy bun, she opened the door.

She hadn’t expected JJ to wait around but he lounged against the paneled wall, glancing up at her through blond bangs that were a touch too long. The piercing blue of his eyes felt like they bored into her and she had the sudden thought that he had been thinking about her, and the fact that she had been changing clothes just beyond the door.

She gripped the doorframe hard, in an attempt to control the urge she had to throw herself at him and hesitantly moved backwards. Making a hasty decision: deliberately sitting on the bed.

She wasn’t sure what she was doing. Whether she was inviting him inside for something that she wasn’t quite ready for, or the lateness of the hour was catching up to her, but John B’s bed was large and there was enough room for both of them to share it. 

JJ didn’t hesitate like she had, he even closed the door which made her swallow convulsively. _What was she getting herself into?_

She watched him as he crossed the floor. The easy way he moved despite the punches he had taken from Pope. She found herself feeling nervous, which was an unfamiliar feeling around JJ. 

Typically she felt at ease with him, the only time she really felt wary was when he let his temper take over but he had never hurt her or attempted to. He stepped around the end of the bed and then she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding.

He sat too. His back to her.

 _Maybe she should lay down_ , she thought, still not sure what she was hoping for (or dreading). 

She laid back, the smell of laundry detergent surprisingly strong on the sheets, and rested her head on the pillow.

“I’m so tired all of a sudden.” She finally said. The silence was making her nervous.

“What do you have to be tired of?” JJ turned so that he faced her, pulling his legs up onto the bed and leaning on one elbow.

“Oh, I don’t know.” She allowed herself to relax, there was nothing going on and nothing was going to happen. She was letting her silly crush on her best friend get to her that was all. He didn’t want to kiss her anymore than she wanted to be kissed. That’s all there is to it. “Maybe because I’ve had to sit around all day while my supposed friends played an insane amount of video games. Like eight hours or so.”

JJ snorted but he didn’t challenge her. The boys had started up almost as soon as they woke up around noon, climbing from the pull out and the recliner, respectively, and moving straight to the controllers. It was evening now so the probability that they had been playing for at least seven hours, was high. 

Kie turned her head, catching sight of the side of his face before he moved to lay full out like her, his head near the foot of the bed. 

She had never laid in bed with a boy before. Not when she was conscious anyways. Pope had snuggled into bed with her before, when he was sleepy and high on whatever brand of weed that JJ’s cousin had given him. She had shoved him off, mumbling about how he was making her hot and he had wandered off to the couch on the screened in porch and she had fallen back asleep. The pullout was sometimes used as a couch, even in the flattened position but that didn’t really count.

JJ was quiet and she wondered if he had fallen asleep but then the bed moved as he rolled over.

“What are you thinking about?” 

She couldn’t tell him that her heart was racing along with her thoughts at the fact that they were laying in bed together. She was afraid he might laugh at her for being a silly girl.

“Nothing really.”

He moved his hand up so that it lay along her leg and she tensed, the expectation of his touch flying along her nerve endings like a wave after a speedboat. 

She didn’t know how she knew what he was going to do but she also couldn’t explain the awareness that erupted between them, every time they drew near each other. She knew that wasn’t made up in her mind. 

The soft brush of his fingers against her skin caused goosebumps to raise all along her body and she didn’t know whether she should wait to see what he was gonna do or turn over and act like she hadn’t noticed his touch or how close he now was.

His fingers swooped over her skin, twirling in intricate patterns like she was a canvas and his fingers a paintbrush. She swallowed hard, the sleepiness that had been pulling at her just a few minutes ago, now gone as adrenaline and something more tantalizing shot through her bloodstream. His fingers teased at the underside of her knee and she struggled not to jump, the touch ticklish and yet it sent heat pooling in her belly.

The hint of a kiss against her calf was electrifying and yet, the touch of his lips wasn’t where she wanted it to be. She was starting to get greedy and as far as she knew he didn’t mean anything by the brief caress. He was just being JJ, overly comfortable with being touchy feely. 

“JJ? What are you doing?” Kie asked, unsure if he was simply teasing her, playing with her like a cat teases its mousy dinner, or if he had real intentions of making a move.

Almost as soon as she asked, she realized that he had fallen asleep, his slow breath puffing against the skin of her leg. His hand drifting to the side as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Kie felt deflated. Her nerves high strung. Frustration singed her like ashes floating in the wind and she sighed before dropping a hand across her eyes and attempting to fall asleep. 

(5)  
**head**

The night they got the call — over a scratchy, barely there connection — that John B and Sarah were alive and thriving in the Bahamas, the Pogues threw a party at the Boneyard.

Just like any other kegger at the beach, the Kooks showed up along with the few Tourons that still visited the resorts in early fall. The laughter was loud and boisterous, the beer was warm but plentiful and the stars shone like a string of party lights, celebration ripe in the air.

The days were warm but the nights were starting to grow chilly, but that didn’t stop the teens from piling onto the beach like it was the height of midsummer. Kie wrapped her hands around her cup of beer and searched the crowd for a familiar face.

Of course, JJ was here somewhere and so was Pope but the excitement of John B being alive again had sent them off into the crowd, their exuberance unmatched by the other partygoers who were unwinding from the excess of alcohol and the late hour. 

She sat on a driftwood branch, staring out over the ocean. Trying to scale the distance with her mind… the thought of Sarah and John B being all the way in the Bahamas was a happy one, they were alive and on a tropical island (hopefully out of Ward Cameron’s reach) but she found she felt a sad pull of melancholy.

Standing up she walked towards the keg and accepted another cup from the Pogue who was attending it. He smiled at her. He had a nice smile with dark curls and eyes to match but she only smiled politely, and turned to walk back to where she had been sitting. 

She knew better after these many months, that attempting to start something with anyone would end in disaster. She sipped from her cup slowly, the alcohol lending a slow warmth to her blood that hadn’t been there moments earlier.

A sharp breeze blew along the beach and a couple of the girls shrieked as their skirts blew up. Kie giggled, watching their shocked faces as they tried to hold them down, while masculine heads turned trying to catch a glimpse. 

The Kooks always overdressed. She would take her ripped jean shorts and comfortable tanks any day over the dresses that some of them wore. That thought reminded her of Sarah _again_ , and the last time she had been on this very beach. Her laughter cut off. She was glad that they were safe, but they were also too far away. She missed them. More than she could say. 

She missed the companionship that Sarah had given her over the few short days after she was practically forced back into her life by the boys. But at least, Sarah would be a listening ear as she tried to figure out her feelings for JJ and the strange effect that only he seemed to have on her. Sarah would understand (she would also tease her about her crush) but it was par for the course when it came to sharing personal feelings with a bubbly girl like her.

Kie grabbed another cup and downed it quickly like she had seen the boys do, the bouancy she was beginning to feel was much better than the loneliness that was pulling at her. 

She started walking around the sand that the majority of the partygoers had claimed as theirs. The sudden need to find JJ becoming imperative, as she lost focus and reason as her blood alcohol levels rose. It probably hadn’t been a good idea to pre-game with the boys and a bottle of peach schnapps. It had tasted disgusting going down but egged on by JJ and Pope who’s exuberance was contagious, she had imbibed more than she usually did. 

She stopped next to a boy that she vaguely recognized from a party last summer and asked him whether he had seen JJ. The guy shrugged then shook his head and she turned away quickly, almost ramming into another guy as she lost her balance. 

“Whoa.” She pressed a hand against her head, ready to pose her question to the next person that crossed her path, when JJ appeared.

“JJ! There you are!” She threw her arms around him, trapping his arms to his sides, she breathed in the scent that was all him — salt, sunscreen and Calvin Klein Aqua which he had stolen from a department store display at Christmas time (she had given him a death glare but he had only laughed and slipped it into a pocket of his cargos).

“Here I am.” He chuckled, struggling to release one of his arms so that he could wrap it around her shoulder.

Kie wasn’t so drunk that she didn’t appreciate the fact that JJ was touching her, but she did know that she shouldn’t say anything to him about how she felt, so she lifted her cup to her lips for another swig in order to keep her mouth shut.

“I think you’ve had enough.” JJ took the plastic cup from her hands and tossed it down onto the sand.

“No. JJ.” She tried to reach the cup, even in her fogged brain, she knew recycling was better for the planet, but he gripped her tighter and pulled her towards the light of one of the bonfires.

“JJ! We can’t litter. What—“ She hiccuped. “What about Mother Earth?” 

“It’s fine. After you sober up, you can pick up all the cans and cups you want.”

“Here.” JJ reached into a red cooler and pulled out a bottle of water and offered it to her. “Drink that. All of it.”

“No complaints.” He replied, when she opened her mouth, ready to tell him she didn’t need a babysitter. 

_Maybe I do_ , she thought to herself, when she tried to twist the bottle cap off and it wouldn’t budge. _Stupid planet-destroying plastic bottle caps._

“Here.” JJ sat down next to her, took the bottle out of her hand and opened it.

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. 

She gulped the water down, not realizing just how thirsty she was until the bottle was empty and she asked for another one.

JJ chuckled but he retrieved her another bottle and she drank that one down as well.

Kie started to feel more like herself and she carefully walked to the recycling bin down the beach to toss her empty water bottles. At least, if she couldn’t pick up that one plastic cup, she could dispose of these properly.

The walk plus the water and fresh air cleared her mind a little bit and she cringed at the way she had thrown herself at JJ. _Real class act, Kiara._

She sat down next to him again, turning so she could see him better in the dim light. He looked happy, happier than she remembered seeing him since John B had taken off in the Phantom.

“I’m— uh, I’m sorry for throwing myself on you earlier. I was a bit tipsy.”

“No need to blame the drinks, Kie. I know I’m irresistible.”

“That’s what you think.” Kie mumbled. She knew he was attractive, he knew he was attractive. He didn’t have to keep pushing it. But maybe that was a side effect of her earlier mood. Grumpy Kie wasn’t a fan of JJ’s type of humor. 

“I’m just kidding. Come on. You know that was a perfect segue.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” Kie tried not to smile, but his good mood was contagious.

“I knew you thought I was funny.”

“Where's Pope?” Kie asked, desperate to change the subject before JJ got too close to the truth about how she felt about him. 

“I think he met a girl, actually. So he’s currently _wooing_ said, young lady.” 

“A girl? Are you sure?”

“Yeah. After your disastrous first kiss, he decided that guys were it for him. But I think he wants attention from anyone, as long as he gets some.”

“Pope’s not like that.” 

“Maybe not yet. But I think he’s growing up. Ready to spread his wings and all that shit.”

“There’s nothing wrong with improving or— or experimenting with different experiences. You should know _that_ , Mr. New-Girl-Every-Weekend.” Kie tried to tease him, but the truth actually concerned her and kind of hurt. _When had JJ decided she wasn’t worth his attention? Which one of her negative reactions to his come ons had been the last straw?_

A song suddenly started playing from across the beach, someone’s Bluetooth speaker kicking on. The music was soft and the words romantic. Without thinking Kie stood up and offered her hands to JJ. 

“Dance with me.” She smiled down at him, a fluttering in her chest felt somewhat alarming until he grasped her hands and the feeling took flight, like a flock of geese flying south for winter, stealing her breath.

They swayed a little, neither really used to dancing to slow songs. The uneven sand made her stumble a few times but JJ’s hand on her waist kept her upright and she finally glanced into his eyes, the bright blue that she was used to seeing indistinguishable in the darkness. 

The music changed, but Kie barely noticed as JJ’s hand moved lower, from her side near her rib cage to her lower back and she let herself lean closer.

She bit her lip, suddenly unsure of herself. _Would she finally kiss him on the lips and feel another spark, like the incandescence of the other touches? Would he kiss her back or push her away in disgust?_

JJ’s fingers started stroking her back and she tightened her grip on his hand, still turning slowly to the music. If any moment in her life had felt like a fairytale this was it.

The song crescendoed and Kie’s heart started to race, her palms sweating and she decided to take a leap of faith. Reaching up on her toes, she moved to kiss him, expectation rushing in her blood, but he pulled back immediately.

Disappointment washed over her and she struggled not to cry. _Of course, he doesn’t want to kiss you. You’re just his best friend. That’s all there is to it._

“Hey. No Pogue on pogue macking, right?” His voice was quiet and his gaze earnest. She found she couldn’t look away despite the embarrassing tears that she felt flood her eyes. 

She nodded her head, looking away from him, trying to decide how she could make an escape without embarrassing herself further, when he pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

Kie sighed, another hiccup threatening but this one wasn’t because of intoxication. She felt like crying from the tenderness that he showed her despite the rejection she had just experienced.

She sighed and tucked her head into his shoulder, turning so that her forehead rested against his neck and he wouldn’t see the tears that fell.

The warmth of his arms was soothing, even though his reaction was what had upset her in the first place. She decided then and there that she would allow him to hold her now, but never again. 

She wasn’t willing to face rejection, not again and not from him. She loved him too much, to mess up what they had. 

_At least he’s still my best friend_ , she thought, as she pulled back, wiping at tears that she couldn’t hide from him any longer. 

She nodded her head at him, in an awkward acknowledgment before she walked away. Her heart felt like it had been wrung out, without a drop of hopeful dreams left, but she was determined to not let it get her down. She had lived sixteen years without experiencing that spark, she could go another sixteen, even if it killed her. 

————

  


(+1)  
**lips**

****

JJ Maybank had never been a subtle person. He brought a gun to a fist fight, delivered strong armed hugs to Pope and John B despite their protests about him squeezing too hard and took every opportunity to show off his surfing skills (especially when there were cute girls around). 

But when it came to Kiara Carrera, he didn’t know where he stood. She constantly brushed off his attempts at flirting, scoffed at his many come ons, and rolled her eyes any time he tried to offer her a true compliment — to be fair, he was always talking shit, so it wasn’t really her fault that she didn’t believe him when he was trying to be sincere.

Overt gestures apparently didn’t impress her. But words were only words, and JJ didn’t think confessions or speaking about his feelings were his strong suit. He preferred actions, so when he decided that he would break down those carefully built walls around Kiara’s heart, he had to act stealthily.

The first time he kissed her, it was an accident. He excitedly grabbed her like he would have done with John B and Pope. Swiftly kissing them on the cheek and then letting them go, pride swelling in his chest, but with Kie… the water was choppy that day and his aim was a little off. That’s how he came to kiss her on the ear and not the side of the head like he had meant to.

Ears were kind of a weird part of the body, he had always thought, but the wet brush of her hair and the tender curve of her ear against his lips had shot through him like a lightning bolt and he had quickly pulled away, shocked. 

He hadn’t been lying when he thanked her for saving him further humiliation at Midsummers. JJ’s knew how to hide his real feelings behind a smirk and an unconcerned attitude, but inside he had been cringing. The mission was supposed to be a quick in and out to give Sarah a message, but then the Kooks tried to gang up on him in the locker room and he had been dragged through the crowd, on display for everyone to stare at until Kie had spoken up for him. His savior in a flower crown. 

So when he deliberately kissed her fingers in thanks, he hadn’t been thinking of the impact it might have on him. He had seen it done on tv, mostly in the old black and white films that were the only thing to watch on tv late at night when he was coming down from a high or trying to avoid his depressive thoughts. 

It seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do, which JJ had never been in his life. But he had seen the surprise on her face as his lips caressed her skin. She was so used to the boys being coarse and rough, so his tenderness had touched her and he saw the first chink in the wall. 

Kie getting hurt during the scuffle with Barry (which was his fault entirely, he shouldn’t have taken Barry’s money but it had seemed like a good idea at the time) had hurt him more than he let on.

He had carefully bandaged her wound, smoothing the fabric bandage across her skin with the lightest touch, but she flinched and he had the sudden urge to kiss it all better. Something his mom had done for him when he was a little boy and had fallen off his skateboard, scraping his knees. So he bent forward and kissed her lightly, immediately retreating and turning away because he felt foolish for succumbing to such a childish inclination. 

After John B’s death, he was messed up. The slightest memory of his friend tore him up inside and he had to hide his tears from Pope and Kie on more than one occasion. Being emotionally vulnerable was hard for him, he liked to hold it all inside so it was unsurprising that he would explode one day. Anger was easier than tears, so he let it take over even though it ultimately ended up hurting his friend.

Kie had been right to shove him under the ice cold shower spray, though his typical imaginings hadn’t had her standing outside the shower when he had thought about them sharing a bathroom together. 

She had sweetly taken care of him, despite his earlier actions, finding him clothes to change into since she had doused his. 

The sight of her in shorts, which he was used to wasn’t what caught his attention, but the fact that she looked so good in one of his shirts. He couldn’t help but be drawn to her in a primal, almost predatory way.

When she laid down on the bed his heart had started racing even though he hadn’t had any intention of making any moves on her. Kie deserved more than that, more than him — a sad, destructive teenage boy with more misdemeanors on his record that any other kid on the island.

Lying next to her had been an innocent move on his part. He simply wanted to be close to her when everything around them felt like it was falling apart, but the scent of her coconut and mango body butter and the sight of her smooth skin so close, was a temptation he couldn’t pass up. 

The next thing he knew he was waking up in John B’s bed alone, wondering if he had dreamed that he had pressed his mouth to Kie’s leg like it was no big deal. He hadn’t asked her when he walked into the kitchen, ruffling a hand through his already messy hair and saw her standing against the countertop drinking OJ out of the carton or mentioned it when she passed it to him, their fingertips grazing before he drank after her. 

He didn’t ask her the next day, when she ran down the beach and he chased her. Practically, tackling her as he lifted her off her feet in a bear hug, bare chest pressed up against her back. A feeling close to happiness building in his chest like an ember bursting into a flame. 

He didn’t mention it again. Forgetting the possibility of the moment when they got the call that John B was alive. His familiar voice bright with a smile as he heard their screams over the tinny connection — Kie’s holy shit’s mixed with Pope’s shouts of joy, neither of them noticing the tears that streamed down his cheeks as he stumbled over asking them if they were okay, Kie’s phone pressed to his ear. 

He was the one who decided they needed to have a party and Kie and Pope had agreed, albeit reluctantly. Pope had been rather mopey lately so the idea of a party with possible romantic partners available sold him, after JJ took him to the side and told him it was time he looked elsewhere for a connection. Kie was harder to convince but once they brought out the schnapps and she had a few, her inhibitions loosened and she was into the idea. 

JJ hadn’t meant to leave Kie sitting alone as he and Pope meandered through the crowd, their own cups of warm beer in hand. He hadn’t been thinking about how she may be feeling about everything. He was ecstatic and figured she was too but when he finally felt guilty enough to search her out, she was happily drunk, swaying on her feet amidst a crowd of strangers. 

Her brown eyes had been sparkling, more from the alcohol she had been drinking than happiness, her long dark hair blowing around her in the wind held him entranced and he couldn’t go back to whatever he had been doing before. He had to help her to a seat and make sure she sobered up enough so that some random guy didn’t try to take advantage of her.

He tried his best to keep that thought in mind as she wrapped her hand around his in the midst of a clumsy slow dance, her skin warm  
against his palm despite the chill night air. The trust in her eyes killing him into a false sense of security and he almost gave in to it too. But she had just been giggling over the way seagulls walked and wasn’t clear minded after multiple beers and cheap schnapps — he couldn’t let her make a mistake like kissing him when she didn’t have all her faculties about her.

If she knew about it she probably would’ve scolded him for being misogynistic or something about feminism that would go completely over his head.

He gently pushed her away, unable to resist a kiss to the top of her head because she looked so sad, her happy smile disappearing like sea foam on the shore. 

He had to wonder if she hadn’t merely been intoxicated and had only wondered what it would be like to kiss him, she had kissed both John B and Pope after all. JJ’s self doubt took over and he tried to brush off the feeling of regret as he watched her walk away. 

…

“Come on, Kie! It’s the last major swell of the season! At least we won’t freeze our asses off trying to catch this one. You can’t just let it pass you by for— for AP Bio or whatever the hell, Pope is doing.”

Kie rolled her eyes, but he could see he was wearing her down. She dropped her arms from where they had been crossed over her chest. Her faded yellow t-shirt was loose, sloping off one shoulder to show off the lacy strap underneath. JJ swallowed hard, trying to avoid any improper thoughts that his swim trunks would do nothing to hide.

The humidity was high this morning and Kie’s hair curled around her head like a halo. He suddenly had the urge to brush a piece away from her face and push it behind her ear. 

Turning his head he tried to control the urge by focusing on something else, but the yard was empty except for Kie’s Nissan Pathfinder — Pope had already left for school when JJ decided he was going to skip because of the perfect surf conditions. 

“Just— this one time, okay? For old times sake. Then I’ll never bother you again. Take all those fancy classes that your dad is shoving at you for college resumes and spend your weekends studying till your ass falls asleep and you're cross-eyed. Just this once, please?”

“Fine.” Kie huffed out a sigh, and he charged her like an exuberant puppy, smacking his lips to her cheek before she could pull away.

He ran around the side of the house, grabbing his board where it rested against the screened in back porch and stowed it in the backseat, the fin peeking up through Kie’s open sunroof. 

Kie sighed when he slid into the passenger seat but she turned the key in the ignition, the fringed and beaded bracelet that hung from her rear view mirror swaying back and forth as she pulled out of John B’s driveway. 

“Where are we going? The beach is that way.” He pointed with one hand out the window to the left, as she turned right onto the road.

“I know, genius. But my swimsuit is at _my_ house that is in the opposite direction.”

JJ groaned, slumping back in the seat but she mimed like she was gonna punch him and he straightened up. 

“I didn’t wear my suit today because it’s the middle of the school week. So we have to go get it. I’m not gonna surf wearing my underwear.”

JJ tried so hard not to imagine Kie in her underwear and failed. Shifting in his seat awkwardly he prayed she wouldn’t notice his reaction. Thankfully, all her attention was on driving despite the quiet roadways (everyone was either at school, at work or in the tourists case, heading home now that summer was over ).

They pulled into the driveway at Kie’s place and she shifted into park before hopping out of the car and walking up the front steps. She looked around like she was worried about getting caught but Kie’s dad was usually at The Wreck at this time of day and her mom had a hair appointment on the mainland, or at least that’s what she had told him on the way over. 

About ten minutes later, she finally came back out, fiddling with the keys as she locked the front door. JJ could see the clear outline of a black bikini through her shirt and he swallowed again. There was no way Kie could know that her black suit was his favorite. _Shit, I’m in trouble._

Thankfully, Kie’s board was still in the back of her SUV so she didn’t have to try and wrestle it into the back with his, and then they were back on the road, heading towards the North beach.

(JJ was kind enough to pull it out for her once they got there.) 

The waves were perfect for surfing, as JJ knew they would be. He nudged Kie with one arm, his board tucked under his other arm and she elbowed him back, an annoyed frown wrinkling her forehead but he ignored it. She would thank him once they got in and surfed some bitchin’ waves. 

He held her board while Kie stripped, catching sight of the smooth expanse of her legs and her toned arms, not to mention her cleavage, was threatening to be his undoing. He couldn’t wait to get out there and focus on something other than the closeness of his best friend’s body and what he wouldn’t give to kiss her.

_Chill JJ._

Kie held his board while he pulled off his t-shirt, tossing it onto the sand beside her shorts and top. 

He started running towards the water as soon as he had his board in hand and Kie yelled at him for being a dick. 

He laughed, but he didn’t see her reaction once he reached the ocean and the chill water crashed into his ankles.

“Shit! JJ! You said it wasn’t gonna be cold.” Kie yelled as her feet met the cold ocean water.

“Sorry!” He turned his head, glancing over his shoulder, to catch a glimpse of her as he paddled out. 

They finally made it past the wave break, waiting for the perfect swell to catch. Kie shivered, teeth slightly chattering as she sat next to him on her board.

“It’s freezing.”

“Come on. It’ll get better once we get moving.” JJ thought about grabbing her arm, with a reassuring touch but he changed his mind. 

The sky overhead started to darken and JJ worried that he hadn’t paid enough attention to the actual weather activity on his phone app, instead of worrying about the chances of magnificent waves, waiting for someone, mainly him, to surf them. 

“JJ, if it rains! I swear to god!” Kie’s frown grew darker and the clouds overhead joined in, the wind picking up and blowing cold water droplets down on them from a storm farther out at sea.

JJ didn’t have time to answer, a ginormous wave rolling in and without claiming it, he made his way towards it.

JJ in his excitement to catch the first wave, hadn’t even thought that Kie would try to take it on too, until he saw her dark hair out of the corner of his eye. He tried to wave her off, but she apparently didn’t hear or didn’t see. The threat to her safety pulled him back and he decided to wait it out for the next one.

Kiara started out in a good place, the wave was big enough that she didn’t have to worry about not carrying it through but the tempestuous weather that was barreling down on them added to the crest. And his fear suddenly ratcheted up to alarming when the wave broke over her as she was coming down, white water breaking over her head.

He didn’t see her for a minute or two when her board floated past him, the ankle strap snapped and her dark head was nowhere to be seen. His stomach dropped and he glanced frantically around, back towards the shore but he couldn’t find her. 

“Damn it, Kie! Kiara!” 

_Why did she have to take on that ridiculous wave?_ He thought, _I’m the stupid, reckless one who should have been dragged under._

He started paddling towards shore, hoping against hope that he would come alongside her as he moved closer to where the waves washed out. 

A splash and a gasp next to him had him diving off the side of his surfboard, swimming towards her dark head in the murky, gray light, the waves frothing around them. 

“Kie!” He managed to make it to her side, wrapping an arm around her wet body as he pulled her behind him. They gained their feet where the water met the shore, Kie coughing and choking as she spit out salt water.

JJ was afraid to let her go but the sight of her face, black mascara running and fear stamped there, suddenly brought anger boiling to the surface.

“Damn it, Kiara! What was that shit? You could have been killed!”

“Shut up!” Kie glared, “I didn’t drown okay. And you were gonna go for it too, so I don’t know why you think it’s okay for _you_ to do it, when I’m perfectly capable of surfing on my own.”

“Perfectly capable? Ha.” JJ shook his head, a harsh laugh escaping as he tried to catch his breath. He stepped back, putting some distance between them. He had to fight the urge to strangle her or maybe kiss her, and neither were a good idea right now.

“What’s the matter with you? You’ve been pissy all morning.”

“There’s nothing wrong with me, okay. You’re the one who dragged me out here to skip school. And now it’s suddenly my fault that I almost drowned. You wouldn’t take no for an answer!”

“Yeah, okay. Fine. It’s all my fault.” JJ smoothed a hand over his face, the wind still whipping around them and bringing a chill with it. “Kie is always right and I’m always wrong. I get it.”

He started to walk away, shaking his head. His board, which was probably the most expensive thing that he owned, was lost in the ocean, probably on its way to wash up on a beach in Thailand or some other ridiculously far off place that he would never see.

“Where are you going?” She asked, arms crossed against her chest, long hair dripping water across her skin. 

“I don’t know. Away from here. I just— I can’t watch you get hurt and you don’t want me to help. So there’s no reason for me to be here.”

“JJ—“ Her voice dropped off and he struggled not to turn around, knowing that she was standing there, cold, alone and deflated. 

“I’m sorry, okay?” 

She followed after him, the soft touch of her hand to his back sending a ripple of awareness along his skin. She pressed her cheek against his bare arm, the coldness of her skin shocking him out of his surprise at her caresses.

“Shit! Kie, you’re freezing.” He pulled her to him, running his hands up and down her arms as she rested her forehead against the middle of his chest. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“I couldn’t. You were too busy yelling at me.”

JJ would have laughed if he wasn’t so concerned, so he settled on a dry comment instead. “You mean you were too busy yelling at me, to tell me.” 

“Here’s your shirt.” JJ tried slipping it over her head but it stuck to her damp skin.

“JJ? It’s okay. I’m okay.” She glanced up at him, her face upturned towards his and he suddenly realized just how close he had pulled her in his attempts to warm her.

“Are you sure? My shirt has long sleeves, maybe that will help.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I— I can think of another way to keep warm.”

“What are you talking—?” His _about_ was muffled by her lips as she pressed them to his swiftly before pulling back.

“Why did you do that? I thought…” 

“No pogue on pogue macking, right?” Her lips quirked up one one side and he couldn’t help but brush his thumb against the corner of her mouth, to feel it curve against his skin. 

“Right.”

“I didn’t make the rule.” 

“You didn’t?” JJ pulled her closer, fingers catching against the string of her bikini as they drew closer.

“No. So, how about you kiss me and show me what the fuss is all about.” 

JJ was shocked, but never one to pass up a challenge he obliged.

She tasted like salt, cotton candy taffy and happiness, like coming home and running off on a wild adventure. He wasn’t sure how he got so lucky, to have the most beautiful girl on the island wrapped in his arms and her lips on his.

JJ had kissed girls before of course, but it was always a gateway to getting someplace else, somewhere else more intimate so that he could experience a new, exciting high with a stranger. But with Kie, he was content. Standing on a beach in the Outer Banks, with cold rain pelting down on their heads — there wasn’t any other place he would rather be.

They pulled away after a few moments, harsh breath ghosting like mist in the air. Kie smiles up at him and despite the dreary day, it felt like the sunshine had just broken through the clouds.

“So, that’s what all the fuss is about?” Kie bit her lip and he waited for her to say anything else.

“Well?”

“What?” 

“You can’t just leave me hanging!” 

“I think I can.” Kie teased, as she bent to shimmy into her shorts.

“Wait.” JJ scrambled to grab his clothes as she jogged up the beach toward the small parking lot. “Kie! You can’t just— Kiara!”

Kie laughed as she ran towards the car, the rain suddenly combined with a thunderstorm. JJ charged after her, her sneakers and his flip flops clutched in one hand.

Kie was already in the car, engine running and the lights on by the time he reached the door. His hand slipped on the handle twice before he could open the door and slip inside. 

He pushed a hand through his damp hair, smoothing it back from his forehead as he wiped at his eyes.

“You didn’t tell me what it was like.” He finally spoke, tossing the clothes into the back seat that held her purse and bags of recycling. 

“What, what was like?” Kie teased, leaning her head back against the seat rest and turning her neck to look at him. 

“You know. You can’t just leave a guy hanging.”

“Aww, your poor little ego can’t take it.”

“Yes, no! I mean…” JJ narrowed his eyes. “I see you’ve got trick questions.” 

Kie shrugged her shoulders and JJ almost groaned. He couldn’t help it. He had to know how she felt after their kiss. She clearly hadn’t enjoyed too many that she had experienced before or she would have had more boyfriends that she could count, but Kie’s lack of romantic partners had always left JJ curious. Now she was holding out on him.

“Fine. I’ll put you out of your misery. It was… better than anything I have ever experienced with anybody.”

“Really?” JJ was stunned. I mean, he knew that she had been kissed before but the other kisses were that lousy. Wow.

“Don’t go getting all smug now.” Kie warned, a playful glare pulling down her eyebrows.

“I’m not.”

She shot him a look like she didn’t believe him. 

JJ moved closer, setting a hand on her bare thigh as he shifted. “I’m not getting smug. I’m just surprised by it all.”

“It’s no big deal. I mean, I don’t know. I just never felt that spark before, when I was kissed.” Kie glanced down, fiddling with a string that hung from the hem of her shorts. “I know it sounds silly but I was wondering why it was only happening with you.”

“With me? But when?” JJ felt like an idiot but Kie’s bare skin under his hand was doing things to him that made it hard for him to think straight.

“You kissed me that one time when I caught that big wave. And then when I scratched my elbow when that idiot Barry tried to beat you to death. I don’t know. It’s like there isn’t a connection, like crossed wires or something when other people kiss me but when we’re together they’re uncrossed and I feel alive again. It’s like being woken up from a dull dream where everything is black and white. With you, it’s all bright colors and sunshine.”

“Wow, Kie.”

“What?” 

“I don’t know. I just— I never knew that. Maybe I should have kissed you sooner.”

“Maybe you should have.” Her brown eyes sparked with warmth and teasing, “Like that time on the beach with the bonfire.”

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t want to take advantage of you when you were drunk.”

Kie scoffed, whacking him on the back of his hand. “I was not _that_ drunk.”

“Hey! How was I supposed to know? You were giggling and talking about Mother Earth and laughing at seagulls. It was a one-eighty, Kiara. I wasn’t sure whether the real Kie had taken a vacation or not.”

“Well, I’m not drunk now. And there’s still,” She grabbed her phone out of the cup holder and glanced at it. “Oh, about four hours until school lets out.”

“Are you suggesting that I’m easy, Carrera?” JJ pretended to be offended but Kie merely laughed, grabbed him by his shark tooth necklace and pulled him forward until their lips met.

Her lips were warm this time and the salt was still there, but he had no more time to think as she clutched his arms and pulled him on top of her. The gear shift dug into his stomach and he knocked his head into the rear view mirror as she took charge. Laughter clouded their voices as the windows fogged up and sparks were definitely made as the fire that had started with her separate pieces became whole.


End file.
